World craziest intersections.
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Microsoft Alumni Network
UBUNTU
*Open both link, and stare at the upper left corner of the page…
This Pit Bull decided he would attack a Porcupine.
The vet sedated the dog and removed 1347 quills!
The dog survived…
And somewhere there is a naked Porcupine…
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and dis is a proof for dat:
Got any duck feed?
A duck walks into a feed store and asks, “Got any duck feed?”
The clerk tells him, “No, we don’t have a market for it, so we don’t
carry it.” The duck says, “Okay” and leaves.
The next day, the duck walks in to the feed store and asks, “Got any duck feed?” Again the clerk says no and the duck leaves.
Next day, the duck walks in, and asks, “Got any duck feed?” The clerk says, “I’ve told you twice, we don’t have duck feed, we’ve never had duck feed and we never will have duck feed. If you ask me again, I’ll nail your feet to the floor.”
The duck leaves.
The next day, the duck walks in and asks, “Got any nails?”
“No.”
“Got any duck feed?”
LOL!
Clever Ragwing… I mean duck!
kwak!
Who(?) owns Who(?)
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What am I doing wrong!?
Questions:
Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy.
I’m not from New York . I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?
-
Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?
-
Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
-
How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults - I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 432279810
THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a ■■■■■■ business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful” as you, has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are, that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way.
Classic “pump and dump.”
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.
Why a fellow Americans can’t find USA on the world map?
The answer
LOL like in laugh, not love 
some Funny quotes here 
drool: i did a bit of an audit one month and discovered i had spent $600 on alcohol so i gave it up
drool: the auditing, not the alcohol
<@J^raxis> Some people have some weird fetishes. Which is fine. Then they take photos of them, which is not.
Can anyone help me solve a two body problem?
Id sink them in the ocean or feed them to pigs
but if you do the pigs make sure to remove hair and teeth first
Umm i meant in physics…
<-Roach-> Ah you see I wouldn’t always trust Wikipedia as it is edited by people.
I hear Brittanica is edited by manatees.
Have a good time on Friday?
got proper messed up
started seeing binary on the walls
lawl
you know you’re a geek when you hallucinate binary
Why a fellow Americans can't find USA on the world map?
I remember seeing a TV program where some people in the US was asked to name two countries that bordered the US. Only two people out of twenty were able to do so!
I saw something very similar where Germans (especially teens and young adults) weren’t able to perform those tasks (bordering countries, state names etc.). That comes from insufficient education and is a huge problem here.
Denmark, Finland and Norway! At least we in Sweden know what neighbours we’ve got 
But seriously, it’s a shame that you can’t name your neighbour contries…
Cheers,
Ragwing
Murphy’s Laws in sex
- The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
- Nothing improves with age.
- No matter how many times you’ve had it, if it’s offered take it, because it’ll never be quite the same again.
- Sex has no calories.
- Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
- There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
- Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got and 50% what people think you’ve got.
- No sex with anyone in the same office.
- Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
- A man in the house is worth two in the street.
- If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
- Virginity can be cured.
- When a man’s wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
- Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
- The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can’t stand years later.
- Sex is dirty only if it’s done right.
- It is always the wrong time of month.
- The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
- When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
- Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won’t either.
- Sow your wild oats on Saturday night - Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
- The younger the better.
- The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
- It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
- Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
- Before you find your handsome prince, you’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs.
- There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
- Love your neighbor, but don’t get caught.
- Love is a hole in the heart.
- If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.
- Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
- Do it only with the best.
- Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
- One good turn gets most of the blankets.
- You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
- Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
- Thou shalt not commit adultery…unless in the mood.
- Never lie down with a woman who’s got more troubles than you.
- Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
- Never argue with a women when she’s tired – or rested.
- A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn’t.
- What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
- It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
- Never say no.
- A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn’t love her.
- Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
- Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
- Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
- A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
- Love comes in spurts.
- The world does not revolve on an axis.
- Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
- Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
- Don’t do it if you can’t keep it up.
- There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
- Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
- Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
prison vs work
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So Ganda, do they allow internet access to Indonesian prisoners now (assuming your boss is gone now (:TNG))?