You’re all wrong!
There’s NOTHING funny about a mother in law.
Polls only allow three lines, so the full text of the jokes is below, in the same order they appear in the above poll.
My mother in law and I had a pillow fight, I won when she quit breathing. comicfan2000
The other day it was raining cats and dogs. I heard a knock at the door and it was my Mother In Law, sopping wet , standing in the rain. I looked at her as she dripped on the stair and said, "well don’t just stand there getting all wet, go home! comicfan2000
One day a man found an odd-looking lamp and rubbed it. From inside came a genie that told him he would get three wishes, but whatever he wishes for, his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets. “What would you like for your first wish?” asked the genie. “I want one billion dollars,” replies the man. “Remember,” says the genie, “your mother-in-law gets double of what you get.” “I know,” replied the man. The man then chooses his second wish, “I wish I had a brand new sports car.” So he gets his second wish and he’s very content. “Your mother-in-law gets double what you get, now what would you like for your third wish?” asks the genie. The man ponders for a moment, then answers, “I wish to be beaten half to death.” comicfan2000
A pharmacist to a customer…“In order to buy arsenic you need a legal prescription, a picture of your mother in law just isn’t enough.” comicfan2000
I just buried my mother in law today. She put up a hell of a fight. comicfan2000
How do you save your mother in law from burning? Flip her over every few minutes. comicfan2000
Why did my MIL cross the road? She didn’t, when I saw her, I did. KingKull
Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her husband. “Henry,” she said, “I’ve just received a letter from mother saying she isn’t accepting our invitation to come and stay, as we do not appear to want her. What does she mean by that? I told you to write and say that she was to come at her own convenience. You did write, didn’t you?” “Er, yes, I did,” said the husband. “But I couldn’t spell ‘convenience,’ so I made it ‘risk.’” baldazar
My MIL asked, “If you don’t like me, why do you take me on holidays with you?” I told her, “So I don’t have to kiss you good-bye.” comicfan2000
- Do you know how you save your mother-in-law from drowning? - No…? - Good! Aowl
A man was standing on the corner of an intersection watching a funeral procession pass by, when suddenly he was struck by an unusual sight: behind the hearse followed a man leading a goat on a rope, who in turn was closely trailed by a line of young men. Approaching the man with a goat, the bystander inquired: - Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me who has died, and why this strange following? - Well, you see, the man answered, “the person in the hearse is my mother-in-law. Yesterday, while picking vegetables in our garden, she was struck from the behind by this goat and killed instantly.” - Really! the bystander said eagerly. “Think I might borrow him for a day or so?” - Sure, responded the man, “but you’ll have to go to the back like everyone else”. Mike6688
Sometimes you cannot tell if a man is trying so hard to be a success to please his wife or to spite his mother-in-law. Mike6688
The doorbell rang this morning. When I opened the door there was my mother-in-law on the front step. She said ‘‘Can I stay here for a few days?’’ I said: ‘‘Sure you can.’’ and shut the door in her face. Mike6688
I used to not get on with my mother-in-law, but over the last few months I’ve developed quite an attachment for her. It goes over her head and a strap comes down under her chin to keep her mouth shut! Mike6688
Best of luck to everyone
Ewen 
