Mother In Law jokes

General Discussion (off topic) Anything and everyt
21

What has 10 legs, 5 eyes, sharp teeth and green all over?

I don’t know either but my mother in law just scared the hell out of it!

What is long , slithery and crawls in the grass?

My mother in law looking for her contac lens.

What’s brown, bloody, and has major gashes all over?

A bear that just encountered my mother in law.

Cheers,

Paul

22

Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her husband.

“Henry,” she said, “I’ve just received a letter from mother saying she isn’t accepting our invitation to come and stay, as we do not appear to want her. What does she mean by that? I told you to write and say that she was to come at her own convenience. You did write, didn’t you?”

“Er, yes, I did,” said the husband. “But I, I couldn’t spell ‘convenience,’ so I made it ‘risk.’”

23

What has 5 arms, hair all over, and is scary as hell?

My mother in law’s shadow.

What do you get if you take a mother in law, add a blood sucking fiend, a soul sapping demon, ■■■■■■, and a flesh eating creature?

The same thing you started with.

How do you save your mother in law from burning?

Flip her over ever few minutes.

How do you keep your mother in law from choking?

Take your hands off her throat.

How do you stop your mother in law from bleeding to death?

Put the knife back in.

My mother in law has a problem, her makeup runs…away!

24

Why did my MIL cross the road?
She didn’t, when I saw her, I did.

What’s white and red, white and red, white and red?
My MIL in a blender.

25

Hi,

Well here are a few mother in law jokes to make you laugh (hopefully)

Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran up. The man said, “My wife is drowning and I can’t swim. Please save her. I’ll give you a hundred dollars.” The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, “Okay, where’s my hundred dollars?” The man said, “Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my MIL.” The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, “Just my luck. How much do I owe you?”

A constantly nagged and harried husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year Christmas came again and this year he didn't buy her any gift. Mother-in-law was upset and asked the son-in-law why was she forgotten this time. The angry son-in-law responded, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
A couple was going out for the evening. The last thing they did was to put the cat out. The taxi arrived, and as the couple walked out of the house, the cat shoots back in. So the husband goes back inside to chase it out. The wife, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explained to the taxi driver "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother." A few minutes later, the husband got into the taxi and said, "Sorry I took so long, the stupid thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"

Comments?

26

ROFL, ROFL, ORLF, LRFO, FROL, LORF, FLOR !!!

I’ve always been a fan of Jeff Foxworthy’s stuff, so here’s one in that vein…

You might be a redneck if you greet your MIL as “Aunt”