Right first how to get incoming connection as CAV and Avast and many other programmes that this weird firewall and yes it is weird the learning curve is too steep anyway and how to get avast working by that I mean auto updating and how to delete all the remember me alerts I said ok 2 but did not mean 2
If you need to make new rules: You can go to Defense+/Advanced/Computer Security Policy and find a list of programs you have previously answered alerts for. If you remove the undesired ones from the list, you will get a clean slate and second chance when you use the program again. Same thing for Firewall/Advanced/Network Security Policy. So if you change your mind, just erase the entry and do that program over. 
The rules I have made are called custom right?