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The LOL topic
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Topic: The LOL topic (Read 59451 times)
Japo
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Life starts every day anew. Prospects not so good.
Re: The LOL topic
«
Reply #285 on:
July 15, 2008, 11:56:35 AM »
http://www.c00lstuff.com/1133/Do_s_and_don_ts_with_babies/
http://nonadventures.com/2006/09/12/cape-fear/
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ganda
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Re: The LOL topic
«
Reply #286 on:
July 15, 2008, 10:17:07 PM »
song lyrics-comp geek version
YESTERDAY
By : Beatles
Yesterday,
All those backups seemed a waste of pay
Now my database has gone away
Oh I believe in yesterday.....
Suddenly,
There's not half the files there used to be
And there's a milestone hanging over me
The system crashed so suddenly
I pushed something wrong
What it was I could not say
Now all my data's gone and I long for yesterday-ay-
ay-ay
Yesterday,
The need for back-ups seemed so far away
I knew my data was all here to stay
Now I believe in yesterday
IMAGINE
by : John Lennon
Imagine there's no Windows
It's easy if you try
No fatal errors or new bugs
To kill your hard drives
Imagine Mr. Bill Gates
Leaving us in peace!
Imagine never ending hard disks
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to del or wipe off
And no floppy too
Imagine Mr. Bill Gates
Sharing all his money
You may say I'm a hacker
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And your games will fit in RAM
Imagine 1-Giga RAM
I wonder if you can
No need for left-shifts or setups
And no booting again and again
Imagine all the systems
Working all life-time!
You may say I'm a hacker
But I'm not the only one
Maybe someday I'll be a kracker
And then I'll make Windows run.....
LET IT BE
By : Beatles
When I find my code in tons of trouble
Friends and colleagues come to me
Speaking words of wisdom: Write in C
As the deadline fast approaches
And bugs are all that I can see
Somewhere, someone whispers: Write in C
Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, oh, Write in C
LOGO's dead and buried
Write in C
I used to write a lot of FORTRAN
For science it worked flawlessly
Try using it for graphics!
Write in C
If you've just spent nearly 30 hours
Debugging some assembly
Soon you will be glad to Write in C
Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, yeah, Write in C
BASIC's not the answer
Write in C
Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, oh, Write in C
Pascal won't quite cut it
Write in C
Logged
word of wisdom: do not do to others what you would not like to be done to you unless you have a rocket launcher
3xist
Guest
Re: The LOL topic
«
Reply #287 on:
July 15, 2008, 11:00:39 PM »
Quote from: shin-ganda on July 15, 2008, 10:17:07 PM
song lyrics-comp geek version
YESTERDAY
By : Beatles
Yesterday,
All those backups seemed a waste of pay
Now my database has gone away
Oh I believe in yesterday.....
Suddenly,
There's not half the files there used to be
And there's a milestone hanging over me
The system crashed so suddenly
I pushed something wrong
What it was I could not say
Now all my data's gone and I long for yesterday-ay-
ay-ay
Yesterday,
The need for back-ups seemed so far away
I knew my data was all here to stay
Now I believe in yesterday
IMAGINE
by : John Lennon
Imagine there's no Windows
It's easy if you try
No fatal errors or new bugs
To kill your hard drives
Imagine Mr. Bill Gates
Leaving us in peace!
Imagine never ending hard disks
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to del or wipe off
And no floppy too
Imagine Mr. Bill Gates
Sharing all his money
You may say I'm a hacker
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And your games will fit in RAM
Imagine 1-Giga RAM
I wonder if you can
No need for left-shifts or setups
And no booting again and again
Imagine all the systems
Working all life-time!
You may say I'm a hacker
But I'm not the only one
Maybe someday I'll be a kracker
And then I'll make Windows run.....
LET IT BE
By : Beatles
When I find my code in tons of trouble
Friends and colleagues come to me
Speaking words of wisdom: Write in C
As the deadline fast approaches
And bugs are all that I can see
Somewhere, someone whispers: Write in C
Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, oh, Write in C
LOGO's dead and buried
Write in C
I used to write a lot of FORTRAN
For science it worked flawlessly
Try using it for graphics!
Write in C
If you've just spent nearly 30 hours
Debugging some assembly
Soon you will be glad to Write in C
Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, yeah, Write in C
BASIC's not the answer
Write in C
Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, oh, Write in C
Pascal won't quite cut it
Write in C
LOL
Logged
Japo
Autonomous Human
Global Moderator
Comodo's Hero
Offline
Posts: 1768
Life starts every day anew. Prospects not so good.
Re: The LOL topic
«
Reply #288 on:
July 16, 2008, 09:45:00 AM »
Quote from: shin-ganda on July 15, 2008, 10:17:07 PM
Imagine Mr. Bill Gates
Leaving us in peace!
[...]
Imagine Mr. Bill Gates
Sharing all his money
Already happened...
Quote from:
http://thinkingaboutmedia.com/index.php/category/philanthropy/
June 28, 2008
Hello, Bill!
Bill Gates retired as the head of Microsoft yesterday. After 33 years leading the global software company he founded in his garage, he will now devote his full attention to philanthropy through the work of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.
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ganda
ninja
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Re: The LOL topic
«
Reply #289 on:
July 16, 2008, 09:48:40 AM »
yeah, i love uncle Billie
Logged
word of wisdom: do not do to others what you would not like to be done to you unless you have a rocket launcher
3xist
Guest
Re: The LOL topic
«
Reply #290 on:
July 16, 2008, 11:09:26 PM »
Quote from: shin-ganda on July 16, 2008, 09:48:40 AM
yeah, i love uncle Billie
Too bad he retired.
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ganda
ninja
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Re: The LOL topic
«
Reply #291 on:
July 17, 2008, 01:26:03 AM »
Are computers male or female?
A marketing director for a prominent computer manufacturer was devising a new advertising campaign for his company. While researching consumer response to his product, he asked "Naval ships are commonly referred to as 'she' or 'her'. What gender would you assign to your computer? Give four reasons to support your answer..."
A large group of women reported that the computers should be referred to in the
masculine gender because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer you could have had a better model.
The men, on the other hand, concluded that computers should be referred to in the feminine gender because:
1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
Logged
word of wisdom: do not do to others what you would not like to be done to you unless you have a rocket launcher
3xist
Guest
Re: The LOL topic
«
Reply #292 on:
July 17, 2008, 01:28:11 AM »
Quote from: shin-ganda on July 17, 2008, 01:26:03 AM
Are computers male or female?
A marketing director for a prominent computer manufacturer was devising a new advertising campaign for his company. While researching consumer response to his product, he asked "Naval ships are commonly referred to as 'she' or 'her'. What gender would you assign to your computer? Give four reasons to support your answer..."
A large group of women reported that the computers should be referred to in the
masculine gender because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.
My GF is opposite!
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ganda
ninja
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Posts: 5563
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Re: The LOL topic
«
Reply #293 on:
July 17, 2008, 01:31:14 AM »
Quote from: 3xist on July 17, 2008, 01:28:11 AM
My GF is opposite!
yeah sure
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word of wisdom: do not do to others what you would not like to be done to you unless you have a rocket launcher
3xist
Guest
Re: The LOL topic
«
Reply #294 on:
July 17, 2008, 01:32:49 AM »
Quote from: shin-ganda on July 17, 2008, 01:31:14 AM
yeah sure
No really... She is quite smart!! Earned a Geography Award for this big comp & everything!!!
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ganda
ninja
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Comodo's Hero
Offline
Posts: 5563
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Re: The LOL topic
«
Reply #295 on:
July 17, 2008, 01:35:02 AM »
Quote from: 3xist on July 17, 2008, 01:32:49 AM
No really... She is quite smart!! Earned a Geography Award for this big comp & everything!!!
sure awesome
i just love teasing josh
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word of wisdom: do not do to others what you would not like to be done to you unless you have a rocket launcher
3xist
Guest
Re: The LOL topic
«
Reply #296 on:
July 17, 2008, 01:37:34 AM »
Quote from: shin-ganda on July 17, 2008, 01:35:02 AM
sure awesome
i just love teasing josh
lol
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ganda
ninja
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Offline
Posts: 5563
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Re: The LOL topic
«
Reply #297 on:
August 01, 2008, 09:53:46 PM »
Believe it or not ,
These are REAL 911 Calls!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown
house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller : Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham
and cheese sandwich .
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen
table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had
taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired
of it!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have
an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven .
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same
thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two
minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!
And the winner is..........
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath.
Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble
breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.
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word of wisdom: do not do to others what you would not like to be done to you unless you have a rocket launcher
ganda
ninja
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Comodo's Hero
Offline
Posts: 5563
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Re: The LOL topic
«
Reply #298 on:
August 17, 2008, 03:23:17 AM »
American & Indian Passanger
An American gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to an Indian.
He immediately turns to him and makes his move.
"You know," says the American, "I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. So let's talk."
The Indian, who had just opened his book, closes it slowly and says to the American guy, "What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," says the guy, smiling. "How about nuclear power?"
"OK," says the Indian. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff, grass. Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out ;a flat patty, and the horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?"
The American guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I haven't the slightest idea."
"So tell me," says the Indian, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know poo?"
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word of wisdom: do not do to others what you would not like to be done to you unless you have a rocket launcher
WaterWall
Guest
Re: The LOL topic
«
Reply #299 on:
August 19, 2008, 09:08:39 AM »
ROLF ! Good one Ganda
I like you (guess what --> I'm banned
)
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