The LOL topic

[Guest]

[ganda]

Tight Skirt
In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful blonde was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again she tried to make the step onto the bus only to discover she still couldn't! So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt. So, with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more slack and again was unable to make the step.

About this time the big Texan that was behind her in the line picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero screeching at him "How dare you touch my body!! I don't even know who you are!"

At this the Texan drawled "Well ma'am normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we was friends."

[ganda]

 
http://www.pcworld.com/article/137100/the_10_funniest_sites_on_the_internet.html

[ganda]

chuck norris facts 

    
1) If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
2) There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
3) Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
4) Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
5) Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
6) Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
7) Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

[Matty_R]

A burglar broke into a house one night.

He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables.  And when he
picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange disembodied voice
echoed from the dark saying, 'Jesus is watching you.'

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.

When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head and continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear
as a bell he heard, 'Jesus is watching you.'

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the
source of the voice.

Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on
a parrot.

'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.

'Yep,' the parrot confessed, and then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn
you.'

The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'

'Moses,' replied the bird.

'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird
Moses?'

'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler 'Jesus.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


STUD ROOSTER


A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says,

'OK old fart, time for you to retire.'
The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you cannot handle
ALL of these chickens.
Look what it has done to me.
Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?'
The young rooster says,
'Beat it: You are washed up
and I am taking over.'
The old rooster says,
'I tell you what, young stud.
I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.' The young rooster laughs.
'You know you don't stand a chance, old man.
So, just to be fair,
I will give you a head start.'

The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.

He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch
when he sees the roosters running by.
The Old Rooster is squalking
and running as hard as he can.
The Farmer grabs his shotgun and
- BOOM -
he blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says,
'Dammit......
third gay rooster I bought this month.'

Moral of this story? ...

Don't mess with the OLD FARTS -
age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery
always overcome youth and arrogance!

 

 

 

[Kyle]

Haha nice one Matty Heard that parrot one before


Two Vomits are walking downtown, as they turn down a street one of the Vomits starts to cry, The other Vomit says; "What's wrong?" The Vomit replies; "I was brought up here"

[ganda]

http://www.itshotlinks.com/flash/g'a'ytest.html

g'a'y test  (remove the ')

[LaserWraith]

http://www.itshotlinks.com/flash/g'a'ytest.html

g'a'y test  (remove the ')

Grrrr...that "No" keeps flying around.   

[ganda]

which powerpuff girl are you 

http://www.valvigirl.net/quizzes/ppgquiz.html

[.FaZio93.]

which powerpuff girl are you 

hmm...im not a dad 

 

[CGPMaster]

I'm the http://www.valvigirl.net/quizzes/buttercup.gif

I don't know why

CG

[ganda]

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?. Let's face it.

English is a crazy language. There is no egg in the eggplant. No ham in the hamburger. And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England. French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted. But if we examine its paradoxes we find that Quicksand takes you down slowly, Boxing rings are square. And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. If writers write, how come fingers don't fing. If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth? If the teacher taught, Why didn't the preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what the does a humanitarian eat? Why do people recite at a play, yet play at a recital? Park on driveways and Drive on parkways.

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy. Of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down. And in which you fill in a form by filling it out. And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (Which of course isn't a race at all) That is why when the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible, and why it is that when I wind up my watch it starts, but when I wind up this observation, it ends.

[LaserWraith]

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?. Let's face it.

English is a crazy language. There is no egg in the eggplant. No ham in the hamburger. And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England. French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted. But if we examine its paradoxes we find that Quicksand takes you down slowly, Boxing rings are square. And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. If writers write, how come fingers don't fing. If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth? If the teacher taught, Why didn't the preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what the does a humanitarian eat? Why do people recite at a play, yet play at a recital? Park on driveways and Drive on parkways.

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy. Of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down. And in which you fill in a form by filling it out. And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (Which of course isn't a race at all) That is why when the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible, and why it is that when I wind up my watch it starts, but when I wind up this observation, it ends.

I can see that you didn't write that.   

[.FaZio93.]

I can see that you didn't write that.   

maybe ganda was in a philosophical mood.


..or not

 

[LaserWraith]

maybe ganda was in a philosophical mood. 


..or not

 

 

[ganda]

What is Marketing?

You see a gorgeous gurl at a party. You go up to her and say,'I'm very rich.Marry me!'
That's Direct Marketing..


You see a gorgeous gurl at a party wth a bunch of friends. One of ur friend goes up to her and pointing at u says,'He's very rich. Marry him!'
That's Advertising..


You see a gorgeous gurl at a party. You go up to her and get her phone number. The next day u call her and say,'Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me!'
That's Telemarketing..


You see a gorgeous gurl at a party. You get up and straighten ur tie, u walkup to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag, offers a ride and then say, 'By the way, I'm very rich. Marry me!'
That's Public Relation..


You see a gorgeous gurl at a party. She walks up to u and says,'U are very rich. I wanna marry u!'
That's Brand Recognition..


You see a gorgeous gurl at a party. You go up to her and say,'I'm very rich. Marry me!' She gives u a nice hard slap on ur face.
That's Customer Feedback..

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